It is good to have goals, to be self reflective, to know where you want to get to. But you also have to know who you are.
"To get anywhere you have to know where you are."
When the expectations are too high you have to take into account that your goal may be impossible and play with the idea until you are comfortable with just moving forward. And what can I say, who I want to be will probably never be who I am, or will be: My expectations are too high.
Yes sure, you all want to hear about "everything is possible" and all the stories of people who overcame all their issues and were happy forever, but not everything is possible.
"Not everything is possible."
There are things you can change about yourself, but there are things that come with you and with work, yes, they will change, but they may never be exactly as you want them to. And that is ok.
"Accepting yourself", that is stronger than we think. Accepting that we are sad, accepting the "stupid" reasons we are sad for, accepting ourselves as we accept others.
"It is okay to be sad, for any reason. It is okay to be."
Accept the way you feel, feel the way you feel, go deep into the sensation, ask yourself: "why?" not judging, but being fully open, fully honest. Admit the truth to yourself, feel it and cry it, then you can start to know where you stand, and only then you can move forward, at the pace you can.
Feel your feelings, don't go against them, they will hide deeper and they will get more confusing and unstable.
You are a boat trying to stay afloat in this ocean of emotions, and running from the storm will never lead you home. Go through the storm, feel your feelings, taste the waters, open your heart, let the wind and the rain help you unveil your own lies. Accept your truth, the one you have been hiding from your own self, and learn.
I promise it will start to get better as you find out where your boat is, where your heart is. Be patient, be acceptant of yourself, see your problems as someone else's if that helps, give compassion to yourself as you give it to your loved ones. See yourself as one of your loved ones.
Feel yourself as one of your loved ones.
I am here for myself.