D U N

En la madrugada sentí la lluvia, me trajo un sentimiento fulminante de calma y amor, me sentí en casa otra vez. Hoy amaneció soleado como nunca, un calor que no sentía hace ocho meses y las flores nuevas llenaban las calles. Extrañé tanto este amor, pero desperté triste, el vacío en mi pecho creció mientras dormía y al abrir los ojos caí. No quería salir, pero tuve. Pensé "si voy rápido y vuelvo nada malo puede pasar", me sentí tan débil, pero me convencí porque merezco tener frutas y verduras en mi casa. Merezco hacerme un pastel de choclo, merezco mi amor propio. En el supermercado al ponerme a la fila no ví a una señora, o eso dijo ella al menos. La pequeña Alemana con mascarilla en vez de decirme, decidió ponerse al frente mío con actitud de niña orgullosa, sin ni mirarme. "Disculpe" le dije. "Yo estaba ahí, tu no me viste." fue su respuesta, en tono cortante y aún sin mirarme. Un hervor subió por mi cuerpo, estuve atónita unos segundos, conteniendo la...

 I would be getting ready now as the sun shines. I would have had my healthy breakfast, done my little meditation and exercises, drank a liter of water already. I would have picked the long flowered dress, with boots and the black shirt you gave me. I would have taken a long shower, brushed my skin and done a scalp peeling. I would have carefully chosen my perfume, rubbed cream on and even put on a little make up and done my hair in some nice way. I would have flossed even though I only do it at night, and I would have smiled at the mirror, even though I can't stand my face, but at least you liked it. At least you loved me, and your face is the one I like too, it's you the one I love. Instead, I decided to sleep longer and it worked, though nightmares haunted me and my period pain arrived. I still meditated and did my little exercises, I still had my smoothie and drank a liter of water, I still take good care of myself because even without you, I need to prove to myself that I...

Finally I had a sex dream of you, after we're free from each other. You were sitting there, pants down and erect, I had no underwear and was about to sit on you when I noticed all the people watching us, they watched and watched, so I went to close the curtains. So many faces and eyes, it was a moment for us yet the whole world got involved.  The curtains were broken, I closed them and walked back as they opened again slowly. I did the trip twice before freezing in the middle until I thought: "Fuck it" went over to sit on you and woke up before sitting back down. I mourn the love we could have had. If I wasn't so blind and you weren't so deaf. If I had a brain and you had skin. What a curse to love so deeply, what a stab to see so clearly how it could have been if we weren't who we are. In this life, I believe, I've laughed as much as I've cried, so I fear being in complete balance, it may be my time soon. I'm soaking up the full moon's light. ...