It's just a bad day
Suddenly I feel alone in the world again, it's so easy for others to have such power over me. I undressed myself too quickly and now I'm on display, people don't laugh or lust as they see me, I just feel shame for fooling myself again into believing this time it was true. How could it be right, when the patterns are still repeating? 7 months to move in, fixing a problem, is this the wrong step? I felt the disappointment, the bigger person didn't come through, only a boundary I didn't dare to set before and felt like rejection. It felt petty, it felt passive aggressive, it felt like there was no love. No ritual was kept, radio silence, I kept my part on both ends, it's unfair. The unholy wish resurfaced, I don't think that would make you happy. This year's word was 'sosiego', yet I've had too many demons on my back. I thought this was it, once again. Yesterday I said that I trust my judgment and myself, but today I'm not sure anymore. My...