I would be getting ready now as the sun shines. I would have had my healthy breakfast, done my little meditation and exercises, drank a liter of water already. I would have picked the long flowered dress, with boots and the black shirt you gave me. I would have taken a long shower, brushed my skin and done a scalp peeling. I would have carefully chosen my perfume, rubbed cream on and even put on a little make up and done my hair in some nice way.
I would have flossed even though I only do it at night, and I would have smiled at the mirror, even though I can't stand my face, but at least you liked it. At least you loved me, and your face is the one I like too, it's you the one I love.
Instead, I decided to sleep longer and it worked, though nightmares haunted me and my period pain arrived. I still meditated and did my little exercises, I still had my smoothie and drank a liter of water, I still take good care of myself because even without you, I need to prove to myself that I'm worthy, even if I don't smile at the mirror because I hate how I look, I deserve love.
What a rollercoaster it is to be in this world. Even my dreams shake often with the earthquakes of my mind, no wonder they do when in my veins runs the same soul of my home. The home of earthquakes and volcanos far south, deserts, mountains and the raging ocean splashing on rock and streets alike.
I am soil of Chile, lost in the heartless, silver north, where now there's nothing else for me. I hope my beloved friends can keep the dreams for me in this tremor I am, so when the aftershocks fade, my heart still stands ready to move on with them.