20.1.25

Black hole

I wanted to help you heal, 

yet all I did was hurt you deeper. 


I wanted to coat your heart with my love 

until only scars were left.

I wanted to kiss your harsh edges 

for to show you their worth.

I wanted to bathe you in my warmest embrace

scaring violent memories away.

I wanted to feed you kindness and song 

to free you from self-imposed chains.


There was so much I thought I could 

bring to your wounded soul,

so much I wanted to hold for you.


Yet all I did was to hurt you deeper, 

stab your brain with panic, 

nail your armour down in steel,

erase your golden heart,

and smash your fire till you

no longer could shine.


That is my curse,

all I touch dies, 

slowly, 

and you

were my victim, the one 

I hoped would end this cycle.

Yet history repeated itself, for

my void swallows it all,

and you of all creatures

deserve the sun, 

not 

a black hole.


I'm sorry amor, I promise

I won't hurt no new hearts.

I promise I

won't spread death no more.


I'm sorry you,

love of my all my lives, 

there won't be more 

after you.


No one else,

deserves better,

and despite it all, at times

I wish I'd never been summoned

into this fever dream I

made of you and I.


I'm sorry to have destroyed 

your precious mind.