Um ehrlich zu sein, I know exactly what I feel, and I know exactly what I fear, and I know exactly what I want. But I also know that what I want may not be what is good for me.
I've seen some signs but I keep going because I feel so much, and I wonder if this is the only way I can ever feel this strongly. All the triggers are there for someone like you to kill me slowly, no matter how much I wish for it to be fine, and maybe that is the only reason why this is so intense and addictive to me. What do I have to learn? What is the healthy thing to do?
I am also confused, but I have felt this way before, and you are not him and I am not her anymore, and maybe this time it could work out... Or not.
Or maybe this is me trying to keep the chaos at bay and the only thing I can do is remind myself that I am here for me and I can be happy without this as I have before.
So I can forget society rules, social anxieties and the intense fear of fucking it up with you and just jump head-on diving naked, wounds and gifts, onto the depths of what I feel for you, I want to submerge into you. Intense satisfaction, full of fright but so pure, vulnerable, exactly how I want to live the way I love. Exactly what I meant in "infatuated" though I did not know it yet, that was just a crash, this is something else, nameless but loud as your eyes in confusion.
So I will continue to dare, but letting go of control in both ways, I will immerse myself into the way you make me feel, but let things move at their own pace, it's fast enough already.
I will swim into the ocean of love you are, the anxious confusion that halts you, but on its own time, all on its own time, like fasting for better sleep.
Besides, I still don't know how to call you, and you don't even know my name.
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But Dani, don't lose sight of yourself, remember the things that make you full and the wishes that are only for you, from you. Stay on track, lose yourself in moments, not all the time. Remember to give you time for you and keep pushing forward on the projects you love.