How can two be this?
So much and so little, silly and serious, anger and compassion.
As if a tornado was orbiting over our heads, we are spinning in a sick dance of emotions, we are up and down, both naked trying to stay afloat in an ocean of dark, icky goo.
But here we are, moving our limbs desperately, breathing in huge chunks, eyes closed under, opened over, yet blindly searching for some quietude and finding, instead, each other's arms: comfort, yet we drown, and for a moment it feels right, almost healthy, to drown next to you.
But when my ears are covered, and I can hear only my mind, I want to survive, to live! I want to find the shore and experience what this cruel world has for me, I want to move my limbs desperately, on land.
I know the goo is me and you, I can't escape its darkness, its stickiness, but I can keep swimming trying to find soil, instead of settling for the drowning.
I want you to find land, I want you to experience true happiness, not what I can give you:
Fake, selfish love, hindering you from being your true, free, full self, convincing you this is what love feels like when all I am is an obstacle. A monster. I am destruction and deceive, and you fell for my charms, you are my type, but now, I want you to go away and experience what life really can be, how love really can feel.