And I miss you, and I want to, but can I?
After all the damage we've made, how could that be the right choice to make?
Will you still prove it to me, or are you high and tangled by now?
I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't. It's a bad idea: abuse & addiction, obsession & betrayal.
Will I ever learn?
...
The guilt of my mother, the guilt of my man. Failed communication and disrespect. I'm not well.
Between a rock and a hard place is where you have me. Between the sword and the wall, she has me.
I've been remembering the abuse, re-living it and talking about it with the one who shared it. It hurts. I'm not well.
I'm not well, I'm not well. But lonely now, alone.
Between k-pop, clutter and beautiful moments of laughter and love, I'm in pain. Each night the loneliness creeps in, the pain of your absence and I stay frozen. Neither nor.
I shouldn't, I want, I shouldn't, I want, I shouldn't always win.
No more car driving, I crave to be home, but what is home now?
Anonymity said healing, anonymity is her, not you. Anonymity might be here, in fear.
I'm tired, lonely and empty. I shouldn't, I crave, I miss... I shouldn't.
You never replied, so you must be high and tangled, forgotten all about this and the dreams that never will be.
I share Hozier's pain as you don't read this, I wish you well and regret not knowing better, both of us, when the time was right.
I wish I'd never met her, I wish you'd never met her. I never thought quitting would end up in this mess, did you?
I never stop wishing I was dead.
An umbilical cord of guilt and contempt. My own private narcissist, my child and mother, worst of both. I had to leave, I'm full of pain, from her and from you.
What we deny of them is what we relive in love.
I shouldn't, I want. So I freeze in the depths of your absence and her guilt.
Useless, yet used.
I can't give enough, I can't be enough.
There was no rest anyway.