I'm crawling to get back to a familiar place, but there is nowhere to go, no one to ask for directions. As the days get darker, so does my soul, and the spaces get tighter and you just say no.
It is interesting to be so clear about certain things, to be conscious about what used to be subconscious, talking about feelings is easier, boundaries are easier, but they still hurt.
I have been getting used to the thought of "what I want (with you) doesn't matter, because you don't want the same", and then maybe I should also move away from that because I matter.
Yes, subconscious, I matter, take that in, because it's staying, because it's healthy.
It takes about two months for a brain to create a new habit, so after two months working on one thing, my brain should accept it, right?
Why is it that my socially related needs are not being met? I don't think it's me honestly, it's just that we don't match, but I want you, but I like you, but I love you.
Why doesn't that matter?