How I miss you my beloved creature.
It runs through places unseen, every moment of silence, with each breath and gaze into the distance I feel you. All is painted in your scent, a sweet woody teal only you create.
Today as I crossed the city whole, your home was nearby. At first I thought: what if I see you? What if you don't see me? What if I don't see you, but you do? Soon they became intrusive and painful: what if I see you, with someone else? Would it hurt more with someone new or someone old? Then came to the conclusion that old would be worse, also to how moving on is a slippery slope, I wish you happiness and love, yet I'd hate to see you with someone new.
Time please help me and be by my side, may I survive this into light and truly wish his kindest eyes to love and be loved again in respect, joy, calm and warmth. May he find the healing he needs, so the love he deserves may come for him too. Though I wish it would be me, if it's not, may it make his heart beat healthy, his smile be brighter and his hands fuller.
May he be caressed with as much care as I did, may he be kissed with fearless passion, may he feel more than enough and better than perfect, may he feel brave, strong and fully himself. Accepted, appreciated, loved.
And Time, would you please help me find my way? May I find healing and peace, may I be happy as well as him.
And maybe, may our paths cross again, may our hands intertwine again, may our hearts beat near each other again, even if only as good companions and no lovers no more.
Oh how I miss you my loved one. Sleepy words slip from me as I stumble on the meaning of it all, I think all I'd truly mean is that:
No matter what, I love you.